Adam King is joined by professional matchmaker to the stars Layla Book, and real estate mogul Lara Pacifico to discuss dating in a pandemic, love and marriage, and they give insightful tips and answers to some very important questions.
EP016: Love, Pandemic Style
December 8, 2022
Guests:
Lara Pacifico, Layla Book
Summary:
Adam King is joined by professional matchmaker to the stars Layla Book, and real estate mogul Lara Pacifico to discuss dating in a pandemic, love and marriage, and they give insightful tips and answers to some very important questions.
THE ADAM KING SHOW | ENTERTAINMENT FACILITATION AT IT’S FINEST!
The Adam King Show is everybody’s favorite place for news and commentary, the most interesting guests on the planet, humor, arts and culture, spirituality, motivation, business, technology, cannabis, alternative health, ground breaking stories, and just plain old fashion fun.
Every week host Adam King sits down with the most exceptional panel of guests ever assembled, some of which can only be found here on The Adam King Show, to talk about the most current and relevant news of the day.
With a background in diplomacy and government relations, Adam offers unique insights into the world around us through a tremendous amount of experience and relationships.
Adam is a world traveler, an entertainment facilitator, project advisor, and activist for many causes, and an education reform leader. He's a thought leader and activist in the Southern California area. Adam ran for public office and serves on the boards of various philanthropic organizations.
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00:00:16:09 - 00:00:38:19
Speaker 1
Welcome, everybody, to the Adam King show. This show I can't even believe is happening with all the amount of obstacles that we do to get it up. We are here. We are recording once again on Thursday, as promised, every Monday and Thursday. The Adam King Show. Joined with me is my one and only raw breath and he's super excited that the Bills are playing on Saturday.
00:00:39:05 - 00:00:48:11
Speaker 1
I don't understand why football is not just on Sundays anymore and Thursday Night Football. I'm not digging. I just got to step it up.
00:00:50:10 - 00:00:50:17
Speaker 2
Look.
00:00:51:00 - 00:01:23:23
Speaker 1
There is so much going on in the world. Rock. We published on Monday an amazing video on COVID with Dr. Margaret Aranda and Dr. Shannon Kroner. So amazing anti-vax activists. And then we followed up that video with a response to Nick Fuentes interview with Alex Jones. I highly encourage everybody to watch this because we really walk through a lot of the criticisms that Nick say says And and I think that it's a must see for everybody in the band.
00:01:24:03 - 00:01:26:11
Speaker 2
It is. And it's only available on band.
00:01:26:13 - 00:01:28:21
Speaker 1
So we are not publishing that anywhere else.
00:01:29:04 - 00:01:29:13
Speaker 2
No.
00:01:30:13 - 00:01:55:05
Speaker 1
So on that being said, we got some really great guests coming up next week. We have Emily Wilson in a special episode of Studio, so we will be out of the studio making some really cool material for you guys and then followed by next week. We have Gordon Einstein and yes, he is a distant Einstein. But this man, I don't even know where to begin.
00:01:55:12 - 00:02:04:13
Speaker 1
If you want to hear words from probably one of the most influential people in all of crypto, this is the episode you're going to want to see. That's going to be a one on one interview.
00:02:04:14 - 00:02:05:21
Speaker 2
Yeah, excellent.
00:02:06:05 - 00:02:20:19
Speaker 1
Announcements are out of the way. Rock Let's get to some names. I before we get into memes, I want everybody to know that sometimes I get really impassioned and I make a meme myself. So we're going to start off the meme with my meme of the week.
00:02:20:20 - 00:02:27:12
Speaker 2
I'm so proud I got to say this. I'm just. I'm ready to laugh because I can imagine.
00:02:31:20 - 00:02:37:04
Speaker 1
I have a major announcement to make. I will be reading stories to children at the public library.
00:02:37:15 - 00:02:44:19
Speaker 2
That's that's right. That's pretty good, actually. But I don't know how you had to use. I'll tell you, every person on the planet, I'll.
00:02:44:19 - 00:03:09:19
Speaker 1
Tell you he's mine, too. Or he was mine. I'm getting sick of this major announcement. We're, like, facing the apocalypse right now. Iraq. He says a major announcement America needs a superhero. And we're like, sitting here like, Oh, yes, what's he going to do? What's he going to do? And then he's like, I'm making NFT. Trump's NFT is piqued two years ago.
00:03:09:20 - 00:03:27:24
Speaker 1
There's nothing new about NFT is you are so behind, you are just proving how behind you are right now. And it's like when you want to speak, Mr. Trump, you do stuff like this. But then when we need you to speak on behalf of all of us, you are so afraid of the deep state and you're nowhere to be found.
00:03:28:16 - 00:03:46:16
Speaker 1
And I have to say this. I'm with you. I'm trying to get you to be president. I'm trying for your revenge tour. But DeSantis right now is going to war against mRNA vaccine manufacturers and rock. To me, that's a huge deal. That's still it's like the words versus the actions.
00:03:47:05 - 00:03:50:04
Speaker 2
You're hanging out necessarily make him a president.
00:03:50:24 - 00:03:58:20
Speaker 1
You know what? It doesn't. But I got to say, like Trump's got to get his act together. This is what he looks like to me. He looks like a tranny at a freakin Petto show.
00:03:59:01 - 00:03:59:22
Speaker 2
The public library.
00:04:00:17 - 00:04:04:11
Speaker 1
Okay, So either get it or they are going to take over. And this.
00:04:04:11 - 00:04:04:22
Speaker 2
Is a.
00:04:05:07 - 00:04:26:12
Speaker 1
Mrs. Trump is going to be all right. Let's get to some other means. Oh, but I wasn't the only one who made a meme about Donald Trump today. They are this in the first half. I'm not going to lie. By the way, move freedoms names is a great follow for anybody who wants to laugh.
00:04:26:12 - 00:04:26:19
Speaker 2
I want to.
00:04:26:19 - 00:04:40:08
Speaker 1
Follow this up by Frederick Douglass. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress. Synchronous city. One, one, one, one. It is time we rise against our oppressors. America. That's what I got to say.
00:04:40:16 - 00:04:41:04
Speaker 2
It sure.
00:04:41:04 - 00:05:10:11
Speaker 1
As and in the Christmas spirit, here's a Jesus post me love in light of something I'm trying not to cuss because Bender video is very sensitive about cussing, so I'm just going to say f the system Some more from our Christmas series. Mary Welcome to everybody. And last week we gave a Christmas One Rock. And you love this one.
00:05:10:11 - 00:05:28:12
Speaker 1
When your kids take a bunch of presents boxes, wrap them up, leave them empty. When your kids act up, throw one of the gift boxes in the fireplace and they'll behave correctly. You thought that was good. This is another good one for Christmas. Places Santa hat on the corner of your TV. And every time somewhere is it? You got a drink?
00:05:28:23 - 00:05:38:23
Speaker 2
I love that. I know you're going to do that. I'm going home to do that. I know you. I know you know I don't drink. But I'll do it. I'll do something else.
00:05:40:00 - 00:05:43:20
Speaker 1
All right, let's take a peek. This is our favorite queer. Now to make fun of.
00:05:43:20 - 00:05:44:09
Speaker 2
Oh, my.
00:05:44:19 - 00:05:55:18
Speaker 1
Now getting assaulted for stealing multiple woman's luggage. Remembering jail is full of sexually frustrated men. This damn rock is brutal.
00:05:56:00 - 00:06:02:20
Speaker 2
I know. And I saw one that's a little different than that the other day. Adam. It was pretty good. I'll bring that up next time for you.
00:06:02:20 - 00:06:13:05
Speaker 1
This guy, though, he's just I got to say, he's. If there was ever a government official that rubbed you the wrong way, this is the guy.
00:06:14:07 - 00:06:14:24
Speaker 2
That's got.
00:06:14:24 - 00:06:18:24
Speaker 1
To go down and quiet to like you didn't even hear that he got fired.
00:06:19:18 - 00:06:22:09
Speaker 2
That's got to be one of the best I've seen.
00:06:23:01 - 00:06:35:10
Speaker 1
This is a real article that came out. People who skip their COVID vaccine who are at higher risk of traffic accidents, according to a new study. What I can't believe that people are.
00:06:35:13 - 00:06:45:12
Speaker 2
Working like this. This is stupid. The stupidest people in the world. I feel like I'm living in like the Twilight zone, literally.
00:06:45:19 - 00:06:53:14
Speaker 1
Now. Imagine a time and place, place, place beyond this world. I can't even do that guy's accent. It makes me stutter.
00:06:53:22 - 00:06:56:12
Speaker 2
No, you're funny.
00:06:57:21 - 00:07:24:19
Speaker 1
But we are. We're living in a twilight zone and even another Twilight zone in the news. AOC Climate Change documentary flops and brings in just $80 per theater during its opening weekend barely made enough money. They added up all the money that it brought in and divided it by all the amount of theaters that were playing. It was playing in, and every theater grossed 80 bucks to look at.
00:07:24:19 - 00:07:25:09
Speaker 2
Look at them.
00:07:25:15 - 00:07:28:02
Speaker 1
I think she spent like over $1,000,000 on it, too.
00:07:28:15 - 00:07:39:22
Speaker 2
Yeah. Just by looking at them on the cover, I would just take that and throw it in the trash. I mean, it's. I know. Look who it is. It AOC, what do you what do you expect?
00:07:40:02 - 00:07:53:24
Speaker 1
Well, $80 a head. That's all she's pulling. And that's how real her voice is. She's one of these Twitter all stars who were absolutely nothing but Twitter made into something, gave her fake 1 million followers overnight to get her started.
00:07:53:24 - 00:07:55:14
Speaker 2
Yeah, exactly.
00:07:55:23 - 00:08:02:14
Speaker 1
Don jr with the kill democrats be like still better than trump.
00:08:02:14 - 00:08:06:19
Speaker 2
Yeah, that's good.
00:08:07:02 - 00:08:11:18
Speaker 1
How to have fun as an adult.
00:08:11:18 - 00:08:13:11
Speaker 2
That's one of my favorite things to do.
00:08:14:10 - 00:08:34:01
Speaker 1
This is kind of a serious day. We're making serious memes here. I started to be free when i discovered the cage was made of thoughts. This got me law. Avoid their classical liberty licensing. When the government takes away your right to do something and then sells it back to you.
00:08:34:21 - 00:08:39:00
Speaker 2
Yeah, for sure.
00:08:39:00 - 00:09:00:05
Speaker 1
Oh, these are for the meme section. We got a dating episode, so we'll we'll drop this one because we did, and then we'll get to the dating episode. Choosing your wife is the most important financial decision you will ever make. We got 7,000,004 misheard, Miss Kardashian. 200,000 a month.
00:09:00:05 - 00:09:00:11
Speaker 2
30.
00:09:00:12 - 00:09:08:21
Speaker 1
6 billion. And Gates's wife? 76 billion. You got Bezos and Gates at the bottom Anyway.
00:09:08:21 - 00:09:11:09
Speaker 2
$76 billion.
00:09:11:09 - 00:09:35:03
Speaker 1
And that's how much she took from Jeffrey. Bill. Billy Gates, The Petco chase. Yeah, it's the pedophile man. All right. Well, we got an amazing guest. We're doing another dating episode so that we could post on to YouTube again because they suck and they only let us post things that are not political. So we have a nonpolitical show.
00:09:35:10 - 00:09:39:19
Speaker 1
We're going to write about dating again, which was everybody's favorite subject. So I'm going to bring in our guests.
00:09:40:01 - 00:09:41:17
Speaker 2
Have a fantastic show.
00:09:42:00 - 00:09:47:01
Speaker 1
Thanks. I'll see you soon, man. And please you sure we'll do well that.
00:09:47:02 - 00:09:48:02
Speaker 2
Yes.
00:09:48:02 - 00:09:58:17
Speaker 1
Let's use our guests in here now and get our show on the road. We have once again our good friend Larry.
00:09:58:17 - 00:09:59:14
Speaker 2
And tonight.
00:09:59:24 - 00:10:14:19
Speaker 1
For the first time, my good friend in New York, Laura, who is a real estate entrepreneur, mogul, socialite, wizard on the West Side. So welcome to our show, Laura.
00:10:15:19 - 00:10:16:24
Speaker 3
Thank you for having me.
00:10:17:16 - 00:10:45:20
Speaker 1
So last time we had Leyla here with actually a rabbi, and it wasn't our most viewed show. Some of our shows right now are going super, super viral, which is really exciting. But it was our most talked about show and we had we had like people were sending in like, like essay responses in the comments. It was really kind of a cool thing to see.
00:10:45:20 - 00:10:53:21
Speaker 1
So Leyla book A Matchmaker in Los Angeles to the Stars. What is your website again?
00:10:53:21 - 00:10:54:11
Speaker 2
Tell us.
00:10:55:12 - 00:10:57:00
Speaker 4
Leyla finds love dot com.
00:10:57:09 - 00:11:23:07
Speaker 1
Leyla finds love dot com. So I think last week you know Laura and I were talking before the show and she asked me if there's any any like polemic that we can talk about. And so not only did she educate me on what a polemic was, but we had a polemic last week where we spoke about women pursuing men and how to make dating more equal.
00:11:23:16 - 00:11:39:05
Speaker 1
And this is the number one comment we were getting. I was getting letters from women around the world saying, Well, if you want a woman who pursues a man, will you would you want to go on a date with me and blah, blah, blah. And it was like one after one after one, you know, I don't know. Did you see that episode?
00:11:39:05 - 00:11:45:08
Speaker 3
Laura No, no. And I never did that, though.
00:11:45:15 - 00:12:04:13
Speaker 1
Okay, good. So we got somebody who who has a little bit of difference. So Leila and I were talking about it, and Leila told me basically, I said, like there's there's two women. There's women who want to be pursued and women who want to be in a relationship. And when a woman wants to be in a relationship, she will go find like sonar writer doo.
00:12:04:13 - 00:12:05:11
Speaker 2
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.
00:12:05:11 - 00:12:20:02
Speaker 1
Him and she will close. And so I said this on the show and Lama, who's a matchmaker and is a professional, all she does is make, you know, gets people married. She actually told me that she went after her husband.
00:12:21:00 - 00:12:21:22
Speaker 2
So I want to.
00:12:21:22 - 00:12:29:04
Speaker 1
Go deeper into this story and I want to pivot to you, Leyla, and I want you to tell us and remind our audience about the story about how you met your husband.
00:12:30:07 - 00:12:56:12
Speaker 4
Sure. Sure. So I as a single, I was going round and there was a Shabbat dinner for Jewish singles. He was across the table, and then afterwards there was like a ona egg thing. So I was, you know, we were schmoozing or whatever. And then he left without me, without, you know, Shabbat, you know, I keep Shabbat. So we didn't able to exchange numbers or anything, but he never mentioned anything like, nice meeting you.
00:12:56:13 - 00:13:22:23
Speaker 4
Whatever. No hard feelings, of course, But I think it was in a type of, you know, he wasn't able he didn't he didn't want to pursue or maybe he wasn't he was a little maybe unsure about it. Possibly I'll cut him some slack. And at the end of after Shabbat or whatever, I emailed our hosts who had us and I said, Hey, can I have his you know, we exchanged I have his exchanged his contact info.
00:13:22:23 - 00:13:43:12
Speaker 4
I was you know, I'm interested in him. I wanted to know about him, you know, and I even forgot his name, whatever, Sorry. And then after that, we started a conversation via email and then we moved on to, you know, phone and what have you read. We set up a time to to meet for coffee and that's that.
00:13:43:14 - 00:14:01:16
Speaker 4
The rest is history. So yeah, I mean, I wasn't I didn't wait for him, I didn't wait for, you know, hoping like is he going to, you know, ever going to contact me or whatever? Why waste time? You know, you what do you have to do as we were talking about that last time. So I went went for it.
00:14:01:16 - 00:14:03:06
Speaker 4
And here I am very happily.
00:14:04:10 - 00:14:04:21
Speaker 1
Kids.
00:14:06:07 - 00:14:06:21
Speaker 4
And a dog.
00:14:07:10 - 00:14:11:11
Speaker 1
And a dog too. She was talking about her dog in the backstage.
00:14:11:11 - 00:14:11:20
Speaker 4
Yeah.
00:14:12:09 - 00:14:14:00
Speaker 1
Laura, you have a family? You have a dog?
00:14:14:00 - 00:14:21:03
Speaker 3
Laura I have a dog, yeah. So I just ask, what's been your own dog?
00:14:21:03 - 00:14:22:21
Speaker 1
So what kind of dog is it?
00:14:24:04 - 00:14:24:21
Speaker 3
A Yorkie.
00:14:25:13 - 00:14:27:19
Speaker 1
Oh, they're the best. My parents have two Yorkies.
00:14:28:17 - 00:14:29:16
Speaker 3
And they're Q.
00:14:30:16 - 00:14:40:20
Speaker 1
So, Laura, what do you think about that story? How does that fit into your whole scope? I know you've been married before. You have, you know, your own family. Like what? How do you how does that how does that hit you?
00:14:41:24 - 00:15:14:17
Speaker 3
I think that's that's very brave and I think that's amazing and beautiful that works out. But I don't think I have I think I'm very confident. But yeah, I, I'm very conservative. Like the man. If the man wants, he will call it the man. I don't know. It's kind of tricky because not everyone has the confidence. So approach someone and ask for a number and or start a conversation.
00:15:14:17 - 00:15:33:21
Speaker 3
But still, I'm very conservative and if I there was like one time I was in Dubai, I just got out of the flight and I want to eat something. Everything was closed. All the restaurants were closed. And then there was a guy and he looked at me and he denied any help. And I said, Yeah, I want to eat this and this.
00:15:33:21 - 00:15:54:18
Speaker 3
And he said, And he order for me. And then he said, Well, do you want a drink? And then he went there. He grabbed everything for me, like coconut water, orange juice. And then he got everything I wanted and chocolate, everything. And then he paid for it and then he gave it to me. And I was looking at him like he was like, super handsome.
00:15:55:19 - 00:16:17:19
Speaker 3
And I was looking at him, and I thank you so much. And he was like, Sure, enjoy. And that was it. And I didn't ask for his number and I would totally date him. He was so sweet. He was so nice to me, but he didn't ask for my number. And I'm like, I don't know. I thought that would be weird.
00:16:17:19 - 00:16:23:23
Speaker 4
It's not me now. So that's a missed opportunity that you could have had. Yeah, I.
00:16:23:24 - 00:16:25:24
Speaker 3
Know. I remember.
00:16:25:24 - 00:16:49:02
Speaker 4
So he's giving you hints that he likes you. He's buying stuff for you. He's a complete stranger. But if you had that inclination, you have that something inside, like, Oh, he could be totally for me. Why not? Like, say, hey, you know, like, this great meeting you. Will I see you again? Something like that? I don't know. Just to see if there is any potential there.
00:16:49:11 - 00:16:50:12
Speaker 1
But I also.
00:16:50:14 - 00:16:50:23
Speaker 2
Know.
00:16:51:07 - 00:17:17:19
Speaker 1
As a man, in the end of the day, I still want to feel like a man. You know what I'm saying? So, like, I would love, even in that situation where I was that man in Dubai, you know, Prince Mohammed, Allah, Jabari Parker, we all or whoever it was, the Caymans is like free food. Free food for pretty girls, you know, like, But if I was that guy, I would have loved it if you said so.
00:17:17:19 - 00:17:21:20
Speaker 1
When are you going to take me out? So are you going to ask me for my number? Well, you know, like.
00:17:22:17 - 00:17:25:09
Speaker 2
Like, yeah, that's the deal.
00:17:26:00 - 00:17:44:13
Speaker 1
But then he's like, okay, well, can I have your number? You know what I'm saying? So as a man, I still love that. Like, how does a woman actually get across that hurdle is just like, call him out. Like, are you going to be the man and ask me out? Like, let him know that you've already said yes.
00:17:45:03 - 00:18:08:15
Speaker 1
And all he has to do is ask. And I think that's the best as a man, because and honestly, like one of the things on the last show, people were calling me, they're like, oh, so you want a woman to take you on a date, too? Well, maybe like on my birthday. That would be nice. I have taken my I have been in relationships on my birthday where I end up having to take the woman out on my birthday and pay on my birthday.
00:18:08:19 - 00:18:23:12
Speaker 1
So I stop. Like if I'm dating someone I'm not serious about on my birthday, I'm like, sorry, I got need like three or four weeks to get through my birthday before, like, because I don't want her to like, you know, force me to do that. But, but I wanted it for a girl on a date. I want to go out.
00:18:23:12 - 00:18:39:24
Speaker 1
I want to plan a date. I want to be like I want to do all those things and show off like the peacock car and like show all my beautiful feathers. You know, I want to do that, but I want the woman also. I want to feel pursued. And that is basically the woman saying, I'm completely open for you.
00:18:39:24 - 00:18:41:08
Speaker 1
When are you going to ask me for my number?
00:18:42:04 - 00:18:52:19
Speaker 4
Right. About about the birth date. You avoiding her like it depends on the you know, where are you in the dating? Like, is it like pretty much you just met her or are we already like.
00:18:53:05 - 00:18:55:11
Speaker 1
Yeah, if I just met her, You know what I'm saying?
00:18:55:11 - 00:18:57:04
Speaker 4
If I think that that matters.
00:18:57:04 - 00:19:16:15
Speaker 1
Is But I'll tell you at the place that I'm at now, and ladies, write this down at the place that I'm at now, at 39 years old, if I take you out, it is my birthday and we're going out and I end up having this face is going to look like this the whole time, you are not going to see this turn into a frown.
00:19:16:15 - 00:19:28:22
Speaker 1
You're not going to see emotion. But I am not calling you back. So just remember that you take your man out on his birthday and that's why men and women get paid equally in the workplace.
00:19:28:22 - 00:19:30:14
Speaker 3
I have another funny story.
00:19:30:23 - 00:19:31:10
Speaker 2
Tell us.
00:19:32:22 - 00:19:55:18
Speaker 3
I went to Indiana three weeks ago, so I met a guy on a dating app and we had a lot in common. Probably he's going to hit this because we're friends now and I have very little time in Indiana because I was so busy and we had a lot in and like we we did the same exactly same business.
00:19:56:06 - 00:20:17:13
Speaker 3
And so he he helped me out a lot. And I'm very thankful for that. But he want to take me out for a coffee. And I said, I don't go out for a coffee. You want to take me for dinner? We can go, but I'm not going out for a coffee. And then he said, You know what? I'm going to pass.
00:20:17:13 - 00:20:41:11
Speaker 3
And then it was like, Wow, I think the first guy that usually the same car is they they take me for dinner and this guy said, I'm going to pass. And I was like, Well, I'm so sorry if I offended you. If I came like, rude, but I don't go for a coffee myself, so why would I go for a coffee?
00:20:41:15 - 00:21:01:03
Speaker 3
And I had very little time. I had time to have lunch, dinner, and I would have to fit him in this time. But anyway, he said, No, I'll pass. And we're still friends. And he's a very smart guy and he helps me a lot and but he didn't want to take me for dinner. So.
00:21:01:05 - 00:21:22:12
Speaker 4
So as, as a matchmaker, I set up like the first date for my clients, and I asked the ladies, like, what? What are you comfortable with? Coffee, you know, dinner. So that gives me hints. But like, I think this man was probably you were telling him, like, I'm more comfortable with the dinner and then to brush you off.
00:21:22:12 - 00:21:42:09
Speaker 4
That's that's really odd. Like, maybe he was thinking like, oh, she's she's really high maintenance. Do you want something fancy? Whatever. I can't afford her. Maybe that was the case. But to say, like to know already, that's like, I think like it's red flag. He's already disagreeing with you with that with that, you know, just the first your recommendation that you're giving him.
00:21:42:09 - 00:21:49:20
Speaker 4
So yeah probably was but I bet it would be better off than you would but it's good that you're still friends.
00:21:50:12 - 00:21:50:17
Speaker 1
Yeah.
00:21:50:17 - 00:21:54:12
Speaker 3
Maybe he'll say, Oh, he's amazing. He's amazing. He's a very nice and he's.
00:21:54:15 - 00:22:01:03
Speaker 1
Like, Is this somebody else? Is this somebody that you would normally be interested in?
00:22:01:03 - 00:22:19:07
Speaker 3
He's not taking me on a date for dinner. No, I mean, for me, I think. I think I need a man that is going to trip in the way I treat myself, the same level that I treat myself. So I don't go out for coffee myself, not even with my girlfriends. We don't actually go for coffee.
00:22:19:07 - 00:22:22:22
Speaker 1
We'll go where do you go in New York? What do you think is the best dating spot in New York?
00:22:24:16 - 00:22:25:11
Speaker 3
There's so many.
00:22:25:11 - 00:22:34:04
Speaker 1
Nice. Give us top three spots. Top three spots that you think are just like. So like you whisked away, You're gone. The Amber.
00:22:34:08 - 00:22:44:23
Speaker 3
Alert. There is a lot of places by the water that is beautiful, the piers, the restroom by the water. I think that's my favorite spot.
00:22:45:12 - 00:22:47:08
Speaker 2
Mm.
00:22:47:08 - 00:22:49:19
Speaker 3
Name three places. Three places. You know, if I.
00:22:49:19 - 00:22:50:04
Speaker 2
Go.
00:22:52:21 - 00:23:02:03
Speaker 3
Restaurants, I don't know. I think a date doesn't have to be a dinner, you know, but.
00:23:02:06 - 00:23:25:15
Speaker 1
Okay, I'll name three for you in New York. I'll. I'll name one for you in New York and then you can name one in New York. I'll name two. I would say Moka Berger. And I think that's like Chelsea area. Damn, those are like the best burgers in the world. Not the world, but those are like really good burgers and they're like, boozy brochure.
00:23:26:04 - 00:23:32:03
Speaker 1
Yeah, it's a kosher place. The places like super boozy, but they're like, really good burgers, too. Like the.
00:23:32:11 - 00:23:32:19
Speaker 2
You.
00:23:33:11 - 00:23:59:18
Speaker 1
You get your food there and you're like, wow, this is this is something else. Okay, okay. What other places? Name one place. Let's get one place. I got another one. I got another one. The rooftop bar of the Gansevoort Hotel. Boom! Oh, my God. Done on that rooftop overlooking the city. Like that one conversation. And you could be having children with that person.
00:24:01:13 - 00:24:05:10
Speaker 4
Sounds like a nice swear.
00:24:05:10 - 00:24:05:16
Speaker 2
All right.
00:24:06:09 - 00:24:09:01
Speaker 4
Note. Thank. Those are two points.
00:24:09:09 - 00:24:15:00
Speaker 1
Those are two from a Los Angeles local who lives out in the countryside. I am balling. That is.
00:24:15:00 - 00:24:16:09
Speaker 4
Good work. Right?
00:24:16:11 - 00:24:24:03
Speaker 1
Know Where do you recommend people? Where do you recommend people go in New York? Do you have any New York spots?
00:24:24:03 - 00:24:46:00
Speaker 4
Oh, in New York, I'm actually not so familiar with New York. I'm I'm based in Los Angeles. But I a lot of a lot of people like I think water is very calming and inviting. You can walk around. You don't have to be in such a stagnant place just sitting there. It's like an interview. But things that like you can walk around in, it's it's it's comfortable.
00:24:46:00 - 00:24:55:20
Speaker 4
You know, it's comfortable relaxing. So, yeah, I think anything in New York, you can't go right. But I can't really name specifics. I would butcher.
00:24:56:01 - 00:25:14:21
Speaker 1
Okay, I got a third for you guys and that'll have me out on New York on the opposite side of Manhattan by the arts district. You know, where the arts district is on the opposite side, on the Brooklyn Heights side is like it's like Old Town, Brooklyn Heights. And there's a park over there that is like, so stunning and you take the park, they have these gardens.
00:25:15:02 - 00:25:32:00
Speaker 1
They like, build these barges out onto the on the water and they build these barges out there. And you can go out there and you can see the whole skyline from this, from the governor's mansion to the Statue of Liberty. I'm sitting in my third eye right now, too, Like all of lower Manhattan, You're like staring out of the arts district.
00:25:32:00 - 00:25:37:17
Speaker 1
Then you look out to your right and there's the Brooklyn Bridge. It's like picturesque Americana, Like, so romantic.
00:25:38:01 - 00:25:40:17
Speaker 4
I heard about that. Yeah, it's like the manmade. Yeah.
00:25:40:23 - 00:25:45:17
Speaker 1
Bring a picnic. That's a great date. Bring a picnic to that spot during a warm day.
00:25:46:10 - 00:25:46:18
Speaker 2
Oh.
00:25:47:10 - 00:25:49:18
Speaker 4
That's a good date. Yes. Yes, definitely.
00:25:49:23 - 00:26:07:00
Speaker 1
All right, so let's get on these subjects. Laura, I want to break this down. What do you think is the number one thing inhibiting people from getting into relationships, from taking it from dating to being in a relationship exclusive and proud to be exclusive with each other no matter who sees them?
00:26:07:17 - 00:26:45:21
Speaker 3
That's easy. I think it's there's so many options today. So many options. We just go online and you can get a date every day. And I think that's pretty much it. Everything's too available. So why people want to be in a relationship when when they can be free and they know how many girls they want. I think it's like social media, everyone being like, I remember when I went to school, if I want someone's contacts like phone number, you would have to go and ask them and then you have to call.
00:26:45:21 - 00:27:02:23
Speaker 3
When the mom was not at home. It was so hard. It was so hard. No, it's so easy. You think someone at school was cute and then you just you know, you have social media, you have everything. You can go to the date. It's everything's so easy. So.
00:27:03:18 - 00:27:07:21
Speaker 1
So you think it's really like data males who just can't step up and ask a woman out.
00:27:09:21 - 00:27:13:07
Speaker 3
You know, because they're so many options.
00:27:13:15 - 00:27:13:23
Speaker 1
You think.
00:27:13:23 - 00:27:14:06
Speaker 3
It's do.
00:27:15:04 - 00:27:23:01
Speaker 1
You think it's too many options? And men can't commit or too many options and women can't commit too many options in both men and women don't want to commit both.
00:27:23:11 - 00:27:54:14
Speaker 3
Both. And then you find someone nice and then you think, Oh, but you're really nice. Is he really nice? There's so many people around, so should I stick with her or him? I think that's pretty much the main reason and the girls one be just like as men. So they're not. They're not like they used to be. More like shy and feminine.
00:27:54:14 - 00:27:55:21
Speaker 4
You mean feminine.
00:27:56:04 - 00:28:09:02
Speaker 3
Like. Yeah, in the end, they don't care. Like back in the day, the girls didn't. They wouldn't sleep with a guy in the first date. Now they don't care. They just go where they do it.
00:28:09:09 - 00:28:09:19
Speaker 1
I know.
00:28:09:20 - 00:28:10:08
Speaker 2
So.
00:28:11:07 - 00:28:34:01
Speaker 3
So they save more. You have more sexual partners, You have less. You can't commit to a person, something like that. That that's a real study. So I think that's pretty much what what's going on. So many options, less less intimacy. And everyone is just too free.
00:28:35:05 - 00:29:01:02
Speaker 4
To free up. It's I call it a distraction. It's so distracting. You keep going on this dating app or keep thinking, oh, maybe the next person is even better than this one. So it's it's you can't really comment. I didn't I can't say that the dating apps are completely you don't go on them but I think it's it's meant for you to keep going back and keep thinking just like social media you keep want to check you keep.
00:29:01:02 - 00:29:15:19
Speaker 1
Your it's like a total psyop. It's like the government secret CIA protocol to control us or something like that. It's totally messed up. You check them all the time. You're in like 20 conversations. That one's getting intimate with 20 different people at once. It's like.
00:29:16:07 - 00:29:18:15
Speaker 4
How are you going to decide? How are you going to decide?
00:29:18:20 - 00:29:22:24
Speaker 1
It's like a mental orgy. It's like everybody's with everybody at the same time.
00:29:23:14 - 00:29:30:05
Speaker 4
Right? You're comparing one person to the other. This person is like this other person as match the guy every.
00:29:30:05 - 00:29:30:15
Speaker 2
Moment.
00:29:30:20 - 00:29:42:16
Speaker 1
Like you could be sitting here talking to one person and they say one thing you don't like and you're back flirting with the next person. And the completely different like within a like a train switching tracks, it's done. You know.
00:29:43:10 - 00:30:00:18
Speaker 4
Everyone's brain is like going all over the place and you can't focus on that one person. Like I as a matchmaker, I introduce one person at a time to all my clients because I don't want to distract them. And the complete thing is like if you're if you're going on multiple dates with different people or even just messaging, you're never going to get anywhere.
00:30:00:18 - 00:30:08:06
Speaker 4
It's not not an effective way to get to know somebody because your brain can't focus on so many different things at once.
00:30:08:16 - 00:30:32:01
Speaker 1
Yeah, my advice is if you meet somebody on an app, say as few words as possible to get off of the app, which means that the words you choose have to be very convincing on both sides, men and women. That means that you can't just message someone and say, Hey, how's it going? That doesn't work. Like really, if you match with somebody that you want to meet, look their profile up and down.
00:30:32:13 - 00:30:51:20
Speaker 1
Look for where they're leaving a door to where you could make a comment to and make your comment walk through the door, you know, but say something that is going to be to the point and be constantly moving towards getting off of the app. Some success on the app. So I really have had great success on the apps.
00:30:51:20 - 00:31:06:15
Speaker 1
I mean, basically in the fact that I've met everybody on the apps, you know, I match with like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people on these apps, you know, and it's like, but no wife because of what Laura says, there's so many options. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people.
00:31:07:02 - 00:31:24:02
Speaker 4
Yeah. And what when you're when you're like, let's see, you're in a conversation on a dating app, you can always say, well, this sounds great. Why can't we take this offline? It can be a woman to say that to an item. They say like, okay, we're in a conversation. The woman or the man could say, This is great.
00:31:24:16 - 00:31:45:21
Speaker 4
Let's take this online. Are you available on Sunday for drinks or something like that? Why? Just to ask them out. I mean, that's the that's the thought. That's the main key is just like, take it offline as soon as you can, because then you're building fantasies of of this imaginary, basically imaginary person like a plan how until you actually meet them.
00:31:45:21 - 00:31:47:02
Speaker 2
So yeah.
00:31:47:19 - 00:31:54:14
Speaker 3
Just, just I usually don't give my phone to people that I don't know in person. I have this real wide.
00:31:55:01 - 00:32:19:20
Speaker 1
Pivot Instagram, you know, pivot to Instagram. I'm one of the you know, the hinge actually has a phone app. Sometimes I force girls to use the phone app. I'm like, how about they you know, they're like, you want to get off, You want to like? And I'm like, how about you just call me in the app, you know, And I just have a conversation, but boom, you meet somebody and then you could decide right there, you know, it's like, but you got to get off of texting.
00:32:19:20 - 00:32:46:00
Speaker 1
Meeting people in a text message. Fashion is abnormal. It's it's it's the antithesis of nature. It is intended to destroy us. It's a blessing that we can receive people into our lives this way, through this like, kind of pathetic thing that, like, you know, we used to have, you know, real men and women go up to each other in public and meet organically, you know, like God caused two people to meet on a corner crossing the street and they sparked the conversation.
00:32:46:06 - 00:32:56:22
Speaker 1
Today, you start a conversation with somebody on a street corner, they think you're crazy. You know, it's like, don't talk to me. Even if they look as good as I do, you know, it's like, absolutely.
00:32:56:22 - 00:33:11:12
Speaker 4
Yeah. No, you take it. It take it offline as soon as you can. Maybe even if you're a little unsure of who that person is. I create like maybe a quick zoom 10 minutes to see if actually that person looks a little similar to what Catfish say.
00:33:11:21 - 00:33:16:00
Speaker 1
Have you ever gone catfish? Lila, when you were single, did you ever get catfished?
00:33:16:18 - 00:33:38:01
Speaker 4
I I'm kind of like, past that. Yeah, I when I was on dating apps, but it wasn't like that useful. I mean, they had saw you at Sinai. I think I was on JDate. Um, what else was I on? I didn't really use online dating that much. I was more old fashioned, but no, thankfully, I was not catfished.
00:33:39:01 - 00:33:40:20
Speaker 1
What about you? Have you ever been catfished?
00:33:41:13 - 00:34:08:19
Speaker 3
No. I think I'm very careful with the people. I don't have much time, so I got to be very careful. People that I meet and I don't care about looks much. That's the least of my. I think what attracts me is more like the conversation. So if the person doesn't look like what, it's not good because you know, I want the person to be real honest.
00:34:08:19 - 00:34:15:20
Speaker 3
But if they don't look good as the picture is, I don't want the I think I think there's much more than that.
00:34:16:16 - 00:34:28:22
Speaker 1
So that's a great issue. That's a great pivot to a subject I wanted to take you to. So and I'll start with you, LA, because you just brought it up. What is what causes you attraction?
00:34:30:20 - 00:34:36:09
Speaker 3
Definitely someone smart. Yeah, you got to be smart. I, I can't with.
00:34:37:15 - 00:34:45:08
Speaker 1
Its intelligence what comes in what comes in second place to intelligence And how far away is it from intelligence in the scale?
00:34:46:15 - 00:35:01:04
Speaker 3
I think for me, the values like more conservative family. Mm hmm. A good heart. I think that's pretty much. I don't care about looks. I care about the person being eating healthy because I eat healthy.
00:35:01:11 - 00:35:04:08
Speaker 1
So is there is healthy is eating healthy. Number three.
00:35:05:20 - 00:35:09:02
Speaker 3
Not eating here I think a healthy lifestyle.
00:35:09:17 - 00:35:13:16
Speaker 1
Or does that come with values or is that in the.
00:35:13:16 - 00:35:15:19
Speaker 2
Back.
00:35:15:19 - 00:35:16:04
Speaker 3
No, I think.
00:35:16:04 - 00:35:24:02
Speaker 1
To make it independent. Okay. Top three issues intelligence values, healthy health and.
00:35:24:24 - 00:35:27:17
Speaker 2
Healthy person person.
00:35:28:14 - 00:35:30:03
Speaker 1
Let's try to get to a top five.
00:35:31:16 - 00:35:32:01
Speaker 3
And looks.
00:35:32:01 - 00:35:34:10
Speaker 1
Can be number five. So all we need is one more.
00:35:36:14 - 00:35:45:00
Speaker 3
I think got to be someone motivated to always have a.
00:35:45:00 - 00:35:49:20
Speaker 1
More motivated. What is number five? Number five doesn't have to be looks.
00:35:51:05 - 00:35:56:07
Speaker 3
No it's never looks. Honesty.
00:35:56:19 - 00:36:19:05
Speaker 1
Honesty. Wow. Yeah. What wisdom. Thank you for that top five list. Let's go over that for all of our listeners one more time. Laura's top five list of attraction, intelligence values, health, motivation, honesty. That's a high five.
00:36:19:23 - 00:36:20:12
Speaker 3
No more.
00:36:21:15 - 00:36:24:00
Speaker 4
Six to be you take the top.
00:36:24:00 - 00:36:29:10
Speaker 1
Five list. Maybe it's on the top ten list, but this is only the top five list. We don't have time for the top ten list today.
00:36:29:10 - 00:36:37:23
Speaker 4
Because attraction a lot of everybody's attraction. Attraction Attraction said, I'm surprised that Laura, you're mentioning that that's not a top five at least.
00:36:37:23 - 00:36:38:10
Speaker 2
So that's.
00:36:39:04 - 00:36:39:13
Speaker 4
Good.
00:36:40:22 - 00:36:43:10
Speaker 3
Yeah, it's not that good because mine would make.
00:36:43:18 - 00:36:44:08
Speaker 1
You want to know.
00:36:44:13 - 00:36:44:16
Speaker 2
That.
00:36:45:21 - 00:37:06:18
Speaker 1
It isn't for me either. I actually was dating somebody. This is so offensive. I'm going to tell you guys such an offensive thing. So I was dating, like, I don't know, in the game of many options. I was dating like, several people at once, and I was on the tail end of this one girl who was just like, getting the boot.
00:37:06:18 - 00:37:30:10
Speaker 1
Like, I just couldn't like, she was really a headache and she and, and then, and, and another and there was and I, and I sparked something at a party with somebody who was like, I don't know, I don't want to like, say this and have them see this video and anybody take offense to it or something like that.
00:37:30:17 - 00:37:32:17
Speaker 4
No names or mention no names.
00:37:32:23 - 00:37:50:13
Speaker 1
So I'll try to conceal the story as much as possible. So I was dating somebody. It was coming to the tail and I saw somebody else. I wanted to talk to her. She was kind of she wasn't Attraction wasn't the main motivator of the thing. Actually, the thing that got us talking in the beginning was that she said she was unvaccinated and she was so proud of it.
00:37:50:13 - 00:38:10:24
Speaker 1
And I'm like, Yeah, me too. You know, like, and it was like, it like, pulled me in and then we started having, like, this conversation turned out to be one of the coolest people I've met in a long time. And someone came up to me and like, because, like, I was at a party with this girl, and then I went to another party with this girl and someone came up to a party.
00:38:10:24 - 00:38:31:06
Speaker 1
They're like, Are you dating this person? I was like, I don't know. Like we obviously I never spoke about with the girl. Like, we never were like we were hanging out. And this guy looks at me and he says, Be careful because you're way out of her league. And I'm like, Dude, you're like, triple Vaxxed for, like what?
00:38:32:05 - 00:38:36:08
Speaker 1
Like what are you talking about? Like, how would you say such a rude thing to somebody?
00:38:36:23 - 00:38:40:04
Speaker 3
That's rude. That's rude.
00:38:40:04 - 00:38:42:08
Speaker 4
You know? How would you know? He's just jealous.
00:38:42:18 - 00:39:12:23
Speaker 1
It. I don't know. But I wanted to say this story over because it is like the offense that I took to that comment is proof that for men to attraction is not the physical attraction is not the the number one issue. I think for me, I think a woman's ability to commit and get and navigate out of the sea of options and focus exclusively on me and really show me that it's only me and there are no other options.
00:39:13:06 - 00:39:15:05
Speaker 1
That to me is very attractive.
00:39:16:05 - 00:39:18:06
Speaker 3
I forgot one name.
00:39:18:08 - 00:39:24:15
Speaker 1
You only got five. There was only five. What's number six? Laura? What's number six?
00:39:26:07 - 00:39:28:02
Speaker 3
I want to switch.
00:39:28:02 - 00:39:32:23
Speaker 1
Oh, okay. Please don't take honesty off of their take.
00:39:32:24 - 00:39:39:19
Speaker 3
Honesty? No, I'm kidding. I think it's very important the way the guy treats me too. You know, like the guy that didn't take. Yeah, but.
00:39:39:19 - 00:39:43:00
Speaker 1
That goes into values. That's number two. That's like value.
00:39:43:22 - 00:39:44:22
Speaker 3
No, really.
00:39:45:02 - 00:39:59:15
Speaker 1
Let me ask you a question. How a guy treat What if a guy treated you with a lot of respect, but he went out to a restaurant and like, was such a rude guy to the waiter, No, give me my food. What are you talking about? I didn't order it like this. He was like, That's what I'm saying.
00:39:59:15 - 00:40:04:08
Speaker 1
It's values. It's not how he treats you, it's how he treats everybody.
00:40:04:08 - 00:40:11:04
Speaker 3
I was. I was saying, like, in another way, but.
00:40:11:04 - 00:40:11:11
Speaker 2
Okay.
00:40:13:09 - 00:40:35:19
Speaker 1
Well, that could be number six then, because honesty is very important. And and I also think I also think motivation is important. I was very impressed that you put motivational number four above honesty, because I know you also you're a real go getter. This is in the top five list. Doesn't have to be for everybody. But people can look at your top five list and become very inspired by it.
00:40:36:03 - 00:40:39:24
Speaker 1
That was a good top five list. Yeah, I feel like it could be a meme.
00:40:39:24 - 00:40:41:03
Speaker 3
It could be.
00:40:41:15 - 00:40:45:15
Speaker 2
It could inspire me. You said last time a lot of.
00:40:46:20 - 00:41:10:04
Speaker 3
I'm in a lot of dating groups and I see all the girls saying that they care about the way the person looks and how is the connection when they go out and and I look at them like I really don't care. Like sometimes I talk with people. They don't even have the a picture profile. The they don't have the picture.
00:41:10:04 - 00:41:19:10
Speaker 3
And I'm fine with that. I don't mind because it's the least of my mind. I don't want to comment about my ex's because.
00:41:19:20 - 00:41:20:16
Speaker 4
You know.
00:41:21:08 - 00:41:25:19
Speaker 3
Like I said, I don't want to be rude, but like, they.
00:41:25:19 - 00:41:26:06
Speaker 1
Know who they.
00:41:26:06 - 00:41:26:12
Speaker 2
Are.
00:41:27:03 - 00:41:29:20
Speaker 1
They know who they are, you ugly man. No.
00:41:30:01 - 00:41:33:09
Speaker 2
No, that was a joke. I was joking.
00:41:34:05 - 00:41:35:01
Speaker 4
They're going to come after you.
00:41:35:01 - 00:41:38:10
Speaker 1
So we got to have some comedy in the show. You know, it's got to be funny.
00:41:38:20 - 00:42:11:13
Speaker 4
But I'm I'm I'm happy to hear that you consider these people without even asking, like, a picture or whatever, because as a matchmaker, you don't even relate to I have to go. Whoops. And, you know, you get to get updated photographs. I even at Zoom do zooms with potential matches to see if they're actually look like who they actually send So to this gives me hope that you know people are not just into looks even though it's important.
00:42:12:03 - 00:42:14:15
Speaker 4
It's not just everything. It's the whole package.
00:42:15:20 - 00:42:34:03
Speaker 3
I think it's pretty much because people judge me a lot the way that I look. And so I think I don't want people I don't want anyone to be with me just because the way I look, I want I thought about, you know, making like fake profiles, but like the opposite way that people think.
00:42:34:10 - 00:42:35:11
Speaker 1
You'd be the catfish.
00:42:36:22 - 00:43:04:19
Speaker 3
I have things the other way that. So I want people to like me. Oh, she's. She's March. She's a good mom. She is. She works hard. And that's what I want people to see is not the way I look at all. So that's probably that's why I always try to put like the inside how the person is inside.
00:43:04:19 - 00:43:07:01
Speaker 3
Then the way that she looks, he looks.
00:43:07:22 - 00:43:09:22
Speaker 2
They look grow.
00:43:10:20 - 00:43:36:05
Speaker 1
Well. I think that attraction is a very important thing and physical attraction is not always everything. And people who are seeking physical attraction, I think it's very easy to find. You know, my mother grew up teaching me one valuable lesson. Everyone is replaceable. It's true. And when you chase looks, that's like the easiest, replaceable thing. There's always someone prettier.
00:43:36:05 - 00:43:58:16
Speaker 1
There's no such thing as someone who's the most beautiful. There's no such thing as anything like that. There's no hierarchy or ranking structure. There is a lot of very, very beautiful people. So if you chase beauty, there's you're never going to be satisfied because there's always new beauty coming about. You know, someone might lose £50 and then they release that inner person that nobody ever saw before.
00:43:58:16 - 00:44:03:17
Speaker 1
That is like the most smoking hot person in the world. I've seen that before, too.
00:44:04:08 - 00:44:05:03
Speaker 4
Looks changed.
00:44:05:03 - 00:44:18:10
Speaker 1
To. Looks change. Yeah, looks change. You know, So, you know, that's a very mic drop moment and thank you for that one, Laura. All right, so we've covered dating locations in New York City.
00:44:18:24 - 00:44:19:04
Speaker 2
First.
00:44:20:01 - 00:44:51:23
Speaker 1
We covered top five attraction. We've covered the biggest obstacles that keep people out of relationships. So let's focus on relationships. Once you're in a relationship out of all of our experiences. And we'll start with Layla because she is currently married. Once you're in and please God, let her stay married. But once you're in a relationship, Layla, what is some good things that both men and women can do for each other?
00:44:51:23 - 00:45:01:14
Speaker 1
Little things and big things to stick, to keep the relationship alive and and to keep it so that you don't have desires to go back to the city of a million options.
00:45:02:17 - 00:45:48:13
Speaker 4
Right. I think we discussed this in our last episode just naturally. But appreciation is very important to to know that there are value know to respect each other, you to listen to each other and to listen to each other's feelings. And if something bothers them and then they communicate that to each other to say like, okay, you know, this is this is a rather you know, we switch it around and that person has to let you have to listen like as a as a as a wife, you know, if my husband is, you know, not too crazy about something that was done, he and he tells me that I'm going to have to listen to.
00:45:48:21 - 00:46:18:06
Speaker 4
Okay, noted, noted. And I will, you know, will will change the way we're doing things. So it's always it's important to communication, communication, appreciation, being, you know, being there for each other is important, you know, and always knowing that, you know, your your important you know, my other half is important. Otherwise we wouldn't be, you know, together, obviously.
00:46:18:08 - 00:46:20:10
Speaker 4
So I think those are some things that.
00:46:21:21 - 00:46:22:02
Speaker 3
Should.
00:46:22:15 - 00:46:23:02
Speaker 4
Value.
00:46:23:02 - 00:46:30:09
Speaker 3
And then don't ask me because I don't even remember what the relationship was, how long was keeping them?
00:46:30:21 - 00:46:33:07
Speaker 1
How long has it been since you've been in a committed relationship?
00:46:35:05 - 00:46:53:06
Speaker 3
I would say because my ex husband and I, we separated, but we're still living in the same house because of the kids. We were so young. I think it's over like four years. I don't know what it is to be with someone. We'd been taking care.
00:46:53:17 - 00:46:54:16
Speaker 2
And I.
00:46:54:17 - 00:46:55:15
Speaker 1
Truly was someone.
00:46:55:16 - 00:46:56:01
Speaker 2
Yeah.
00:46:56:11 - 00:47:01:20
Speaker 3
Yeah. Being happy. You know? Said song.
00:47:02:18 - 00:47:29:14
Speaker 4
Oh, now, every day is a learning process. Every day, you know, every day you learn something new and you learn something new about yourself. You learn something about about, you know, your other half and you or it doesn't even matter that you want to be married. It's just like whoever you're dating, you learn about each other and you pick things that, okay, well, that would that kind of took time off or that kind of like, you know, for gold something or whatever.
00:47:29:19 - 00:47:53:12
Speaker 4
And you learn. And if you don't learn, then obviously you're not going to build a committed relationship. So everything like you're going on a date and it's you see something that I don't think either he didn't pick it up or he he picked it up the wrong way. You take that into consideration everything, so you don't provoke anything.
00:47:53:12 - 00:48:03:19
Speaker 4
And you're not only learning about him or her or reading, but you're also learning about yourself and how you can build and be better, be a better person.
00:48:04:08 - 00:48:16:23
Speaker 1
So that's very deep. That's very, very deep concepts. I also think communication is key and people need to learn how to talk to each other.
00:48:17:13 - 00:48:17:23
Speaker 2
I mean.
00:48:18:07 - 00:48:40:07
Speaker 1
I think that's a major component. I think a lot of people fail. I actually I think it was the first time I started dating a girl and her longest relationship was like, I mean, she was my age. I'm 39. She wasn't my age. She was like a little bit younger than me. But her longest relationship was like nine months.
00:48:41:15 - 00:48:42:10
Speaker 2
And I was like, Oh.
00:48:42:20 - 00:48:57:09
Speaker 1
I was like, that was like it was the first time where, like, I really registered. That is kind of like a red flag. Like, I mean, like, and I feel bad for the girl, but I didn't want to strike out on her. So I continued to talk to her and I told her, like, how it makes me feel right away.
00:48:57:09 - 00:49:00:15
Speaker 1
I said, look, this is a you know, as somebody who.
00:49:01:15 - 00:49:02:03
Speaker 2
You know.
00:49:02:20 - 00:49:13:16
Speaker 1
Feels that relationships are acquired skills, you know, because it's takes work on yourself to be able to understand and make space for another person.
00:49:14:09 - 00:49:15:08
Speaker 2
Physical.
00:49:15:08 - 00:49:35:08
Speaker 1
And I should say that making space for that person and their needs really comes as a step, a precursor to communication, because you first have to desire in order to fix everything that goes wrong in a relationship. You first have the desire to prioritize their need.
00:49:35:22 - 00:49:36:12
Speaker 2
Or.
00:49:37:00 - 00:49:57:16
Speaker 1
Their apparent, their a lack, their need, whatever that you're a person's doing to the other person is not, you know, working out for them. And so once you have that desire to put that person first and that that's like, I don't know, like I remember my first shot of whiskey and that was disgusting.
00:49:58:01 - 00:49:58:08
Speaker 2
You know?
00:49:59:04 - 00:50:30:11
Speaker 1
But now I'm like, Oh, wouldn't have been 26. It is so delicious. You know, like, I think like it's good now or something like that, you know, that's so lame compared to like when I first started, it was like, revolting, you know, like, so that's kind of like an analogy to like some of the work that involves relationships is like you really have to have those dark nights of the soul and look at yourself and see that you know, that you don't make space for another person, that you're all self-centered and all, you know, selfish.
00:50:30:11 - 00:50:52:06
Speaker 1
And if you want another person, you have to first desire that if they have a need that you're I don't know if you're stepping on their toes, that you don't want to step on their toes, you know, So you have to give space to like allow in communication to exist where they can come to you and say, hey, you know, when you do X, Y, and Z, it really makes me feel like this and I have a really hard time with it.
00:50:52:20 - 00:50:53:12
Speaker 2
Yeah.
00:50:53:12 - 00:51:12:22
Speaker 1
And the answer, whether male or female, because, you know, I've been in a relationship for women, gave me this answer to where they were like, you know, dude, that's just your feelings. You know, that's just you. That's just you. It was a meme that I wish I put on the memorial for this show because it was so good.
00:51:13:08 - 00:51:30:23
Speaker 1
It was basically describing narcissistic behavior as like blaming the person for having the issue with you to begin with. You know, like, oh, I did put it on this show, but it's kind of like offensive to women because it specifies that women as women are being narcissists. I'm not going to play.
00:51:30:23 - 00:51:31:07
Speaker 4
Okay.
00:51:31:23 - 00:51:34:04
Speaker 1
You guys want to see it said I just show it.
00:51:35:05 - 00:51:35:19
Speaker 3
So it.
00:51:36:06 - 00:51:36:18
Speaker 2
I well.
00:51:37:08 - 00:51:38:07
Speaker 3
We want trouble.
00:51:38:19 - 00:51:47:18
Speaker 1
We want trouble right now. No, I didn't put it on this episode, but it is for sure in my folder. Let me go grab it and we'll cause some trouble.
00:51:48:12 - 00:52:02:04
Speaker 4
I have a question and I'm not going back to that. That nine months relationship that really just like what was wrong with that? What was wrong with her having only nine months relationship? Like what if she like she knew there was it wasn't.
00:52:02:04 - 00:52:07:12
Speaker 1
Like really nine months. It was like six months and then three months on and off. So it was even worse.
00:52:08:05 - 00:52:13:06
Speaker 4
I mean, I what's wrong with that? Is that like, you mean that's a red flag And like.
00:52:13:08 - 00:52:22:17
Speaker 1
I think that it is a red flag or that it's not a red flag in the sense that like it means that we're done, done, done. It means that like you got to step up and show me that that didn't affect you.
00:52:23:08 - 00:52:26:10
Speaker 3
How do you think What's a red flag? Sorry?
00:52:26:18 - 00:52:30:04
Speaker 1
What's that? Laura?
00:52:30:04 - 00:52:36:13
Speaker 3
Do you think it's a red flag? When people think that I've been single for too long, I think they both see that as a red flag.
00:52:36:15 - 00:52:55:19
Speaker 1
Be honest a little bit. Not. I would say that both of these flags about not having long relationships and not being in a relationship for a while are yellow flags and not being in a relationship for a while is less than a yellow flag. One of the not having long relationships is an orange flag.
00:52:56:22 - 00:52:57:06
Speaker 2
And.
00:52:57:11 - 00:53:00:08
Speaker 1
And not being in a relationship for a long time is a yellow flag.
00:53:01:00 - 00:53:02:00
Speaker 3
I agree.
00:53:02:13 - 00:53:07:07
Speaker 1
You know, to it's worse to not know how to commit to somebody.
00:53:08:17 - 00:53:24:13
Speaker 4
If but it all depends on like okay are we are we on the fast track or are we like on the slow track? We want to take things slow. Maybe she was like more of like, okay, if I know it's not right for me, I'm not going to pursue it a kind of a person. Or maybe she was just like, okay, I know it's not.
00:53:24:13 - 00:53:31:06
Speaker 4
It's a done deal. Or, you know, like from relationships, you can go back backwards and.
00:53:31:07 - 00:53:53:17
Speaker 1
I'll tell you that it's like it. I just when somebody is older and they don't have long term relationships, I mean, like in their thirties, like I think that there is really something to it. I learned so much from having multiyear relationships.
00:53:53:17 - 00:54:02:13
Speaker 3
Yeah, I think that's that's pretty much what I think about when the man it's over 40 and he was never married. I think it's.
00:54:02:13 - 00:54:06:01
Speaker 1
Like I know he's going to help me out on this one. I'm 39. I mean, I'm not.
00:54:06:01 - 00:54:07:11
Speaker 3
I know you're.
00:54:07:19 - 00:54:12:03
Speaker 1
Going to help me out here. This is getting ridiculous. That's like tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.
00:54:12:03 - 00:54:14:02
Speaker 4
Time's ticking. You know, the truth.
00:54:14:02 - 00:54:15:03
Speaker 2
Is, is a man doesn't.
00:54:15:11 - 00:54:37:20
Speaker 1
A man doesn't ever, like, expire in the way like that. So it's like 40 is one thing, but like, it is true like it is. There is something to that, though. But the the you know, I have a lot of really good friends who are single in all either over 40 or approaching 40. And I'll say for all of them who've never been married, some of them, they've got issues, I'll be honest.
00:54:38:14 - 00:54:40:14
Speaker 2
Yeah, I'm not I'm not.
00:54:40:14 - 00:54:58:08
Speaker 1
Going to lie. But other of them, other them are really good men. And like, I don't know, I think like there's a lot of scarcity there. A lot of like they've had relationships. You know, like I practically have been married. I mean, I've lived with a woman for many years, you know, like, I just didn't I didn't get married.
00:54:58:08 - 00:55:08:11
Speaker 1
We didn't get married. So, like, but it is there is like that thing, a man over 40 who hasn't been married that I'd bump it up. Let's bump it up for the modern age to 45. So I feel a little bit better about that about that.
00:55:08:19 - 00:55:24:02
Speaker 4
And the the most popular question I get as a matchmaker when people ask me like, about my clients, like, why are they single? Ho? How am I? That's like $1,000,000 question to ask. Like, why are you single yourself? Like they asked me, like, why are they single?
00:55:24:02 - 00:55:31:06
Speaker 1
I'll tell you why we're single. We're all mental. We are messed up.
00:55:31:06 - 00:55:32:08
Speaker 2
We're all set.
00:55:32:16 - 00:55:36:20
Speaker 1
Up. We've been we've been destroyed more than once. We've had the.
00:55:37:04 - 00:55:56:07
Speaker 4
People ask me that and I'm like, Why? How would I know? First of all, it made me do a lot of thinking things. I mean, like, okay, I understand as I understand my client's situation, like one person has to take care of is his parents were elderly. He just lost track of time. You know what I mean? I have another.
00:55:56:15 - 00:56:19:15
Speaker 4
He's 42 and ever married. How would I know what goes on in people's lives? First of all, I'm not God. I don't control, you know, who is going to be like, why is he or she is not married? So that's like it's the million dollar question that and like I try to explain it to them, like why? But I really can't, you know, it's like, why are you single yourself?
00:56:19:18 - 00:56:28:17
Speaker 4
You know, I, I can flip the question around to the person asking I oh, I get a kick out of that question or I asks.
00:56:28:17 - 00:56:30:16
Speaker 1
I appreciate you for defending us like that.
00:56:30:16 - 00:56:31:01
Speaker 2
Layla.
00:56:32:06 - 00:56:32:19
Speaker 1
Thank you.
00:56:32:19 - 00:56:33:06
Speaker 4
Yeah.
00:56:33:13 - 00:56:35:10
Speaker 1
I was very insecure for a moment there.
00:56:36:15 - 00:56:37:24
Speaker 4
No, sorry.
00:56:37:24 - 00:56:39:09
Speaker 1
No, I'm just teasing you. I don't get.
00:56:39:17 - 00:56:41:04
Speaker 3
It. That's why I'm single. See?
00:56:41:19 - 00:57:01:01
Speaker 1
But I want to. I want to touch on why it is an issue. If a woman hasn't had a relationship or a man, Not just a woman, a man or a woman. Especially a man, but. But even more so, a woman. Because I really believe that sometimes what keeps a relationship is the woman like she's desiring to be in a relationship, even an even a moderately.
00:57:01:18 - 00:57:11:09
Speaker 1
Okay, this is how it works. Even a less attractive woman can become more attractive if she's extremely committed.
00:57:11:20 - 00:57:12:12
Speaker 2
Or.
00:57:13:00 - 00:57:37:00
Speaker 1
But even an unattractive woman can go out into the world. And with one flick of a of the on switch of her dating profile can have options lining up to meet her. So that being said, like a lot of it has to do with the commitment of a woman. If a woman hasn't been in a relationship, it's because in her thirties.
00:57:37:00 - 00:57:55:11
Speaker 1
You mean to tell me you haven't met one worthy guy? Does that mean that it's that I got to jump through hoops of fire to get you? And then on top of that, I mean, there's more than one flag that it raises. It's like there's that one. And then there's the other one. Like, maybe you don't know how, maybe you don't maybe you don't really desire it.
00:57:55:11 - 00:58:17:05
Speaker 1
And the only reason you're desiring it is because you feel like you're getting older and it's freaking you out. That's a real thing, too. And a lot of people, not women or men, but people have emotional distress that they aren't willing to process and they have the desire to commit because of expectation. But they themselves are noncommittal people.
00:58:17:19 - 00:58:54:19
Speaker 1
They don't want to commit to somebody. They don't want to open themselves up. They don't want to have their heart open. And that's that's the yellow flag of not having relationships for multiple years, you know, like I haven't had really a real serious relationship in almost three years. Well, two and a half years. But I have had relationships, startups, start ups where we get like a few months where we're like, really like, you know, So, you know, I feel like at least I'm out there trying to find a relationship.
00:58:54:21 - 00:59:04:05
Speaker 1
The yellow flag of the person who hasn't had a relationship or a startup in four years is maybe they're very scarred from a previous relationship.
00:59:04:08 - 00:59:04:23
Speaker 2
Trauma.
00:59:04:23 - 00:59:05:06
Speaker 4
Yeah.
00:59:05:16 - 00:59:06:02
Speaker 2
A lot of.
00:59:06:02 - 00:59:26:03
Speaker 1
Trauma. Um, you know, and that's a hard nut to crack because a man wants to come in not having. And a woman, a man and a woman both want to come in not having to be the therapist, you know, or to be. But I think at a specific point in our life, we all have to just expect that people are coming into our lives to heal us.
00:59:26:10 - 00:59:48:19
Speaker 1
And that's one of the things I love about, like the whole new age Heal everything. We're healers were healers, you know, like I love that about it is because they do get that part right. It's like at some point, like we all have to come in and just like, accept that the people that we bring into our lives are here to heal us on a friendship level and more importantly, on an emotional, intimate level with our intimate partners.
00:59:48:19 - 00:59:49:11
Speaker 1
That right.
00:59:49:23 - 01:00:14:02
Speaker 4
Everyone is brought so everyone is brought into our lives for a reason. So you always have to think back, okay? Why? Why are we why are we here? Why is there. There is a reason why we're talking to each other. There is a reason. So whether it may be like we're actually going to get married or whether it may be like we're going to help each other do something, you know, learn about each other and be a better.
01:00:14:19 - 01:00:16:17
Speaker 4
But everybody, there's always a reason for.
01:00:17:01 - 01:00:21:22
Speaker 1
There's also that really central trauma stuff, too, that gets brought up in a relationship.
01:00:21:23 - 01:00:25:23
Speaker 4
I heard about that. Yeah, it ring, it comes back to life.
01:00:26:08 - 01:00:44:23
Speaker 1
Maybe it happened or caused the father to be overly zealous on the children and it, you know, the or the mother or whatever it is. And maybe the parents didn't show love. And there's all these traumas that always get resolved in the relationship. You're shaking your head like, why are you shaking your head on that one?
01:00:44:23 - 01:00:54:06
Speaker 3
I don't know. I think everyone has issues. Everyone. You cannot blame your parents, your situation, the way you grow up when you know, I'm not.
01:00:54:06 - 01:01:18:07
Speaker 1
Saying the blame, but it does become our responsibility to still heal from them. If we weren't raised properly, we still have to be able to get over this. And a person who grew up in a house where the parents beat the children, there's a propensity for the children to beat their partners, to beat their children. But the one who breaks that trend, it's still their responsibility to break that trend, you know, and and to live nonviolently, let's just say.
01:01:19:20 - 01:01:43:23
Speaker 4
Yeah, well, that's that's where a therapist that a mentor, a rabbi, priest, whatever you need, comes into place. A you know, a dating coach, matchmakers, somebody like that. You need somebody as a, as a guide because a lot of people go on things on their own and do it without a guide. And don't be so don't be afraid to to ask for help.
01:01:43:23 - 01:01:58:16
Speaker 1
And I'm not trying to say that I do believe that everybody comes with I think what you said law was best. Everybody does come with problems. That's what you have to realize. You know, and they are not perfect and they are responsible for their own problems. I think that's what you were trying to get at.
01:01:59:21 - 01:02:25:11
Speaker 3
I, I met a guy who was way too young for me, but he grew up in a $18 million mansion on Long Island. Mom and dad married very Christian and very, you know, the perfect Long Island family. And he had issues because his his mother had issues because the grandmother and now he has issues because of the mother, the way the grandmother.
01:02:25:11 - 01:02:50:04
Speaker 3
And he told me the story. And such a handsome man. So handsome, so like with a best life in front of him. And he was like, I'm seeing a therapist two times a week and trying to get a read on this. And I looked at him and I said, Why? Why don't blame your parents and the way they were raised and don't carry that, you know, just move on in your.
01:02:50:04 - 01:03:10:20
Speaker 3
So, I mean, it's it's like everyone can say, oh, because I grew up like this and and but there's really no you got to look at yourself in the mirror and say, I got to face my issues myself and don't blame anyone else and fix it and fix it, not carry this on like eternity.
01:03:12:24 - 01:03:17:22
Speaker 4
It's a work in progress. It's much easier said than done that yet. But baby steps.
01:03:18:06 - 01:03:40:02
Speaker 1
You have to not be able to carry it on for eternity. You're absolutely right. It's something that you should. And if you're single out there, you should strive to fix your issues as much as possible before you get into a relationship. And also you should not allow your inability to fix your issues, prohibit you from getting into a relationship if the right one does come around.
01:03:40:21 - 01:04:20:19
Speaker 1
And for people who are getting into a relationship, it helps to understand that we all have issues and that we will have to make space for other people's issues no matter, you know, no matter what. We think that nobody here is perfect. And the older we get, the more issues we seem to get also. So, you know, we hang in space and and and I would say that with that approach to a relationship that a renewed desire for commitment every single day when you wake up, will keep someone married for the rest of their life.
01:04:20:19 - 01:04:39:21
Speaker 1
To get back to that original question we asked Laila, what keeps people in a marriage or in a relationship? So these are really great points. I feel like we really went around the horn and I feel anybody who watches this video is going to have a world of thinking to do. What do you guys think about that?
01:04:41:04 - 01:04:44:02
Speaker 4
Yeah, deep stuff. Yeah, we covered a lot.
01:04:44:21 - 01:04:46:06
Speaker 1
What do you think about today's episode?
01:04:46:06 - 01:04:59:02
Speaker 3
Laura I loved it. Thank you so much for having me, and it's good to be able to vent and then you can hear the things that I was saying and then I can try to fix my point of view too. So I think, you know, I think.
01:04:59:14 - 01:05:01:23
Speaker 4
You learn a lot. You learn a lot about yourself.
01:05:02:10 - 01:05:02:18
Speaker 3
Yeah.
01:05:03:08 - 01:05:26:16
Speaker 1
To tell you the truth, we have at the Adam King Show some super, super exciting guests lined up. But I think that my favorite episode are these episodes because they're like really personal. And also the the people who see these type of episodes love these episodes, like the viewership on these type of talk shows is through the roof, just judging by the last response.
01:05:26:16 - 01:05:47:17
Speaker 1
So I want to put it out there to anybody who watched this show was deeply touched, wants to say anything, leave a comment on any one of our other platforms. As I mentioned earlier, in the beginning of the show, we have begin getting censored on YouTube. So we have we're only going to be posting videos like these and promo videos to YouTube from now on.
01:05:47:17 - 01:06:11:12
Speaker 1
So this video will be on YouTube. It will be on Rumble. And for many listeners on the Infowars, it will be on Bandai video with Alex Jones. So thank you everybody for everything you've been doing. Please shop at Infowars Dotcom, buy something, keep us on the air and let's get our lives together. Let's get into healthy, committed relationships.
01:06:11:12 - 01:06:30:18
Speaker 1
Let's end this world of options by choosing the one for you. I think that is Laila book and this is my Good friend Laura, the real estate entrepreneur in New York City. And we will see you on Monday's show at this exact same time. Take care, everybody. And God bless. Have a.
01:06:30:18 - 01:06:45:18
Speaker 4
Great week. Yeah.